Something you may not know about me yet is that our back porch is my favorite place in the world. It’s the perfect place to come home to after surgery – I feel like I’m outside without being in the sun, the breeze flows through, I just love everything about it. When we came home on Saturday evening, this is what it looked like. It’s good to be home!
Can you believe that everything we prayed for was just so outlandishly answered in our favor?! I think about this whole experience, from the moment we found out I had cancer until coming home from the hospital, and it has all been blanketed with peace and comfort. Of course it was hard – but I was constantly shocked by the calm I felt inside.
My big fear was that that sense of calm would evaporate on the day of surgery, the time when I’d need it most. But I guess that’s why God created tranquilizers, right? Just kidding. When they wheeled me into the OR and had me “crab” over onto the operating table, I knew very clearly that I was in God’s hands.. And that was it!
I guess during the surgery, Dr. Harrison came looking for Josh, to get permission to leave one ovary & my uterus in my body, since I had signed for full removal. Josh was walking somewhere to clear his head, and got 2 texts from our group and his name paged over the hospital system. (!!!) He came back to see everyone crying – and then found out they were happy tears. That’s when everyone learned that the tumor was benign – they didn’t have to wait!
I woke up with NO PAIN!!! For two whole days, no pain!! I didn’t know this was possible. Seriously, this epidural.. was a God-send. Not only did I not have pain, but I was a lot less loopy than I would’ve expected. I thought it would be days before I even knew what was going on. I thought my throat would be raw for days from the vent, I just had noooooo clue how easy it is to have major surgery. haha
My big concerns after surgery were mostly about my lungs- keeping them as clear as possible. The doctors were all over that, and stressed the importance of coughing and deep breathing. It is pretty painful when I cough, but I know that it will get easier as I heal. I can handle some pain – especially when I know there is no cancer involved! It makes everything that much easier.
The first words I remember my nurse saying in recovery were that the tumor was benign. AHHHH!!!! That’s one way to wake a girl up! I honestly did not sleep that night, for other reasons mostly, but I was so comfortable in my bed, I’d just lay back, watch the clock turn, and grin. I couldn’t have been happier.
I believe God healed me from cancer. And He didn’t stop there, He decided to make this whole experience as easy for me as it could be. He stayed by my side and let me know He was there the whole time. He calmed my spirit, soothed my fears, managed to get me EXCITED about seeing Him work in this situation, banned cancer from my body, protected me during surgery, and comforted me afterwards! And that’s only some of it. I am so grateful. He answered our prayers in big and little ways.
Since you asked, no, there is no photo of the tumor. No, they did not weigh it. Yes, it was bigger than they thought: 19x17x?cm! On Thursday morning, an attending physician who was in surgery with me came to check on me. Her remark was that it was a “heinous tumor”. She said it was the size of a large CANTALOUPE!!!!!!
So, yep, I’ve got a really big incision – almost 9 inches I think. It’s vertical, down the center of my stomach, and it’s not very pretty right now. But WHO CARES, it’s not cancer!!
I’ll be here – on the porch, on the couch.. Sleeping a lot, reading a lot (thanks for my library books so far!!), and living the life. Thank you for all of the ways you’ve made me feel special and loved and prayed for, it has meant so much.
Stay tuned for more updates!